Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine

We step into the office where
The boss sits in an office chair
A hundred times a millionaire
Swiveling in his underwear

And on the lap of luxury
Sits some girl from the factory
Presented as a Christmas gift
They did the business in the lift

With his trousers round his ankles
And his fingers in the till
Everybody loves a scandal
And it helps to pay the bills

From the ashes of disaster grow
The roses of success and so
There beneath the mistletoe
They caught it all on video

And I thought I saw a princess begging
From the windows of a Double Decker
We all love a royal wedding
But a royal divorce is better

With their trousers round their ankles
And their fingers in the till
Everybody loves a scandal
And it helps to pay the bills, it's easy

They say
If you put a monkey behind a typewriter
For about a million years
He'll write the complete works of William Shakespeare

And then he'll tell you a tale
Of how his love affair failed
With The Princess Of Wales
And the Americans will turn it into a mini series

With their trousers round their ankles
And their fingers in the till
Everybody loves a scandal
And it helps to pay the bills, it's easy
As D.I.V.O.R.C.E.F.G.