Absolution Project

State of Mind

A never ending nightmare but I cannot decide
If it’s a byproduct of memories or pride
Communicate the symptoms, or should I even try
Maybe it’s all just my state of mind
This never ending moment just never seems to die
But this is when I realize
That it’s so typical of the way that I feel

Why is it such a mystery that I still feel this way
Holding this final piece of me, watch as it fades away
Just give me something real that I can hold onto
So I don’t have to feel the way I never want to

I never want to

Just a simple gesture meant to signify
The will I’ve fought so hard to keep alive
Another complication but I won’t question why
My best attempts cannot control my own demise
Why do I strive to make you, as dead as I feel

Why is it such a mystery that I still feel this way
Holding this final piece of me, watch as it fades away
Just give me something real that I can hold onto
So I don’t have to feel the way I never want to

I never meant to hurt you despite all your surprise
But I locked you up with everything
I tried but couldn’t find
You never meant to scar me from what I could surmise
But my superficial wounds are scabbed
With the words that you’ve advised
And in this mass confusion you’ve rendered me unkind
And only sacrificial crucifixion can
Justify the crime

Now life looks better through your eyes

Why is it such a mystery that I still feel this way
Holding this final piece of me, watch as it fades away
Just give me something real that I can hold onto
So I don’t have to feel the way I never want to

I never want to