Adam Sandler

Whore! You get out here! You hear me? You get your whore ass out here!
Whore?! I don't need this today, whore! Do not defy me, whore! Show me
Your whore face or your really gonna be in for it! Alright, that's it, whore!
I'm coming after you! I'm tired of your whore bullshit! Are you in... the...
Bedroom? Whore? No! Not in the bedroom... I bet the whore is in... the
Guest room... No whore! Maybe there's a whore under the guest bed...?
What?! No whore again! Well, then, where the fuck is the whore?! Whore!
You meet me in the living room! I'm not fuckin around anymore, whore!
I'm counting to three! One... Two........ Where the fuck are you!? Bitch
Whore! That's it! Three!... Whore, whatever I did, I'm sorry... I take it all
Back, whore... Come on, whore, I'll take the swing dance class with you...
I was in a bad mood when you asked!
(doorbell rings)
Now what? Yes?

How you doin?

Fine, can I help you?

I have a FedEx here for Miss.... Carochy?

Oh, I don't think she's here right now...

Alright, well, you wanna sign for it?

Ah, definitely... uh.. uh, what do I do?

What do you do? Ah... you write your name right here...

I'm not used to signin for stuff... the whore usually takes care of all that
Kind of bullshit...

I see... well...

I don't know where she is! Ya know, it's not like the whore disappeared
Without leavin a note like that...

Uh... I'm not sure who you're talkin about...

That's no biggie... But, hey, if you do see the whore, you tell to come
Home, she'll get what's coming to her...

Okay...

Hey, you have a good one, huh?

Yeah, you too

Sure...
(door closes)
Fuckin FedEx... Who's mailing shit to the whore? That's what I wanna
Know... God damn whore gettin overnight mail... I'm not gonna open it...
I don't want the whore callin me a snoop or sum shit...
(pours drink and sips)
(throws glass and breaks)
WHERE ARE YOU?! WHORE?!
(door opens and closes)

Hi babe!

Where the hell were you, whore?! I was freaking out over here!

I went to the bank... I saw Carol and we had coffee

Uh.. Wha? Oh! How is Carol?

She's okay... she's dealing with a lot of crap right now with the divorce...

That's the tough... thing... You would never want to divorce me,
Right, whore?

No! And would you stop calling me whore? It was fun last night, let's just
Keep it in the bedroom

Yes! I mean, sorry about that, Tina... Oh! I got a FedEx for you! I signed
For it and everything!

Oh, thanks... Just leave it over there, I'll open it later...

Definitely! You open it whenever you want! It's your FedEx!

Oh, one more thing... I forgot to pick up sum diet soda for the girls, they're
Coming over later... Could you go to the store for me now?

No problem, Tina

Thanks, sweetie... I'm gonna go take a shower...

Really! Cause... uh... maybe I could come take shower with you...?

No... no... They're gonna be here soon

Alright...

Sum other time, though, okay?

Next time's good... I'll go get the soda, Tina... See you in a bit, huh?

Okay, bye! Don't take too long

Okay, bye bye...
(door opens and closes)
(whistling)
(bird chirps)
Look at that bird... Stupid bird, get your ass out of here! Fucking whore
Bird just shit on me! God damn whore bird! You'll get yours! Now I need
A tissue! He fucking shit on me! He's the one who should get a tissue!
Bitch!