Ani Difranco

i am losing my love for adventure
i'm losing all respect
for me and myself tonight
i wonder what happens if i get to
the end of this tunnel
and there isn't a light
i've worn down the treads
on all of my tires
i've worn through the elbows
and the knees of my clothing
i am stumbling down
the gravel driveway of desire
trying not to wake up
my sleeping self-loathing

do you ever have that dream
where you open your mouth
and you try to scream
but you can't make a sound
that's every day starting now
that's every day starting now

don't tell me it's gonna be alright
you can't sell me on your optimism tonight

it's stiff competition
to see who can stay up later
the stars or the street lights
all they really want
is to be alone with the darkness
no more wish i may
no more wish i might

it takes a stiff upper lip
just to hold up my face
i got to suck it up and savor
the taste of my own behavior
i am spinning with longing
faster than a roulette wheel
this is not who i meant to be
this is not how i meant to feel

i don't think i am strong enough
to do this much longer
god i wish i was stronger
this song could never be long enough
to express every longing
god i wish it was longer