E Badd9 Asus2 E7 C#m A B G#
Intro
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1st Verse
Riff 1
Everywhere I go someone's tryin' to be my girlfriend's best friend
Riff 1
I'm trin' to pretend I'm relaxed but I'm playin' castanets with my knees
Riff 2
I try to be cool and give her space
Riff 2
But a guy's always there ready to jump right up and take my place
Riff 1
Everyone in this room seems to want to make a big fool out of me.
Chorus
E Everybody open you're Badd9 mouth
Asus2 Everybody just say E Ahhhhh (Ah Ahh Ahh Ahhhhh)
E Everything will be all Badd9 right
If you Asus2 play a E long
2nd verse
Riff 1
Everywhere I go there's someone in a trench coat staring at me
Riff 1
When I'm not at home I'm sure someone's rummaging through my trash
Riff 2
Whatever could they want from me
Riff 2
Is it just a part of a giant government conspiracy?
Riff 1
I gotta go see my doctor about this itchy pentagram-shaped rash.
Chorus
E Everybody open you're Badd9 mouth
Asus2 Everybody just say E Ahhhhh (Ah Ahh Ahh Ahhhhh)
E Everything will be all Badd9 right
This won't Asus2 hurt at E all
E Everybody get in Badd9 line
Asus2 Everybody turn and E cough (cooouuuggghhh)
E Everything will be all Badd9 right
If you Asus2 just lay E off
Bridge
C#m A E B (Riff 5)
Dictate a memo to myself
C#m Try to find if A I'm the only E one in complete B health
C#m Consult con A temporaries if E there's some to B see
C#m There really A isn't anyon G# e who's in my A league Badd9
3rd Verse
Riff 1
Every night at Elaine's someone thinks they have to find beyond me
Riff 1 Riff 4 Riff 1
I try to take three deep breaths as I lock and arm my mini-van
Riff 2
Everyone says I'm looking great
Riff 2
But it's hard to stand-up let alone to try to concentrate
Riff 1 Riff 1 (accelerated)
I wish that everyone that I knew hadn't sold out to the man
Chorus
E Everybody open you're Badd9 mouth
Asus2 Everybody just say E Ahhhhh (Ah Ahh Ahh Ahhhhh)
E Everything will be all Badd9 right
Asus2 E (Riff 6)
This won't hurt at all
Final
E Everybody get in Badd9 line
Asus2 Everybody turn and E cough (cooouuuggghhh)
E Everything will be all Badd9 right
If you just Asus2 lay
E Everything will be all Badd9 right
If you just Asus2 lay
E Everything will be all Badd9 right
If you just Asus2 lay off E