Jonathan Coulton

Bacteria, Bacteria
Look there's Bacteria
Bacteria, Bacteria
You might not see them but they're there.
Bacteria, Bacteria
Everything you touch
Bacteria, Bacteria
That's right, Salmonella Bacteria

But we have to watch out for Bacteria
That can spoil our chicken
Bacteria's practically everywhere -
Everywhere you look:
In the kitchen
Inside the cooler
In the dining area
In the restroom
On our raw chicken
And like I said

Bacteria, Bacteria
Look there's Bacteria
Bacteria, Bacteria
You might not see them but they're there.
Bacteria, Bacteria
Everything you touch
Bacteria, Bacteria
That's right, Salmonella Bacteria

Salmonella grows on raw chicken
Especially old chicken
Moist foods, like our salads
Staph bacteria on the left
And Strep bacteria on the right
Salmonella, shigella, Clostridium perfringens
If you didn't wash your hands
They would become breeding grounds for

Bacteria, Bacteria
Look there's Bacteria
Bacteria, Bacteria
You might not see them but they're there.
Bacteria, Bacteria
Everything you touch
Bacteria, Bacteria
That's right Salmonella Bacteria

Fever, cramps and fever
Dysentery
Fever fe-fe-fe-fever
Vomiting vomiting
Chills, cramps, chills and chills and cramps
1 square inch half a billion salmonella bacteria

These bacteria really sound serious
They are when they're left unchecked
And it could mean a trip to the hospital, for someone
Our customers, wow
Ourselves, all right
Our chicken, all right
And our reputation, all right, all right
You mean bacteria on me right now
Clean clean and then clean again

Bacteria, Bacteria
Look there's Bacteria
Bacteria, Bacteria
You might not see them but they're there.
Bacteria, Bacteria
Everything you touch
Bacteria, Bacteria
That's right, Salmonella Bacteria
Salmonella Bacteria
Salmonella Bacteria