Abie Rotenberg

I’m sure you all remember us - the bums from the east side.
Well, now we learn in Kollel, though we’re pushing forty-five.
We each have lots of children, and loads of bills to pay
No one’s into baseball, all we do is shteig all day.

Rebbi used to teach us torah, each and every day.
We opened up our eyes and ears to everything he’d said.
Thanks to him, we’re learning, virtuous and wise,
But one thing is certain
We don’t get much exercise.

A short time after Pesach, a note came in the mail.
It was from those boys from Brooklyn,
Who since moved to Riverdale.
They said “We can’t get over how we lost to you that way.
And we’re coming for a rematch on Lag Ba’omer day.”
Oy Vey!

When Lag Ba’omer came around it was time to play that game.
Oh how we davened extra hard, praying it would rain.
All nine of us of us got on the bus,
With our buffert and ben-gay.
And Rebbi also came along with his jacket tie and cane.

Rebbi used to teach us torah, each and every day.
He opened our eyes and ears to everything he’d say.
And thanks to him, we’re learning, virtuous and wise,
But one thing is for certain.
We don’t get much exercise.

Those guys showed up at the park, looking trim and fit.
And sure didn’t take too long, to see, they still could hit.
Doubles, triples, home runs - they knocked the ball about.
Why, they scored twenty-seven runs, and nobody was out.
There were two outs in the fifth, boy, were we ashamed.
Just one more out would make it an official game.
With two strikes on our batter, they realized this was it,
When faintly Rebbi cried out “Let me pinch hit.

What could our dear Rebbi do, each one of us was wondering
When suddenly the sky got dark,
A lightning and a thundering.
It started pouring cats and dogs, the field turned into mud.
The umpire cried, “This game is called, on account we got a flood.”

Rebbi used to teach us Torah, each and every day.
We opened our eyes and ears to everything he’d said.
Thanks to him, we’re learning, virtuous and wise,
But one thing is for certain.
And we all signed up in the kosher gym.
“Separate days for men and women of course,”
To get our exercise.