Elevator going up!
Ground floor, shopper's paradise
Haberdashery, needles spoons and knives
knuckle dusters, glass jaws, and wooden hearts
Spend your money, girls
on sprays and lipsticks
tested on bunnies, girls, strays, and misfits
ozone-friendly rape alarms
for those blinding dates...
another summer of hate
It's the Top Shop for the tired and rundown
going up for the final comedown
First and second floors
third and fourth world wars
We've got a free pair of flares
with every hip replacement
just take the stairs to the bargain basement
Babys' bottle's full of the milk of human kindness
Ladies and gentlemen
boys and girls
the big shop is open
it's a wonderful world!
Top floor, shopper's paradise
we've got a drunk Father Christmas
and the Antichrist
There's nothing of value
so there's no VAT
we're going S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G
we take Visa, Access, American Express
patched-up, hand-me-down, second to next best
clothes for all ages
mothers and babies
Ladies and gentlemen
boys and girls
the big shop is open
it's a wonderful world
Ladies and gentlemen
boys and girls
the big shop is open
it's a wonderful world
Going down for all the things you've missed
all the love, peace, and happiness
that don't exist
we've got encyclopedias
we've got a pic n fix
we've got a government freezer full of benefits
A children's assortment
we're bigger than Hamley's!
We've got cabbage patch orphans
from Sylvanian families
Carpets, linoleum, holy petroleum!
Chemi-kazi killers, little Hitlers and Napoleons
Ladies and gentlemen
boys and girls
the big shop is open
and the world is wonderful
wonderful!
Armageddon, come and meet your maker
3 steps to heaven on the escalator
Signing the good book, in hard back
and in paperback
Ground floor, shopper's paradise
Haberdashery, needles spoons and knives
knuckle dusters, glass jaws, and wooden hearts
Spend your money, girls
on sprays and lipsticks
tested on bunnies, girls, strays, and misfits
ozone-friendly rape alarms
for those blinding dates...
another summer of hate
It's the Top Shop for the tired and rundown
going up for the final comedown
First and second floors
third and fourth world wars
We've got a free pair of flares
with every hip replacement
just take the stairs to the bargain basement
Babys' bottle's full of the milk of human kindness
Ladies and gentlemen
boys and girls
the big shop is open
it's a wonderful world!
Top floor, shopper's paradise
we've got a drunk Father Christmas
and the Antichrist
There's nothing of value
so there's no VAT
we're going S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G
we take Visa, Access, American Express
patched-up, hand-me-down, second to next best
clothes for all ages
mothers and babies
Ladies and gentlemen
boys and girls
the big shop is open
it's a wonderful world
Ladies and gentlemen
boys and girls
the big shop is open
it's a wonderful world
Going down for all the things you've missed
all the love, peace, and happiness
that don't exist
we've got encyclopedias
we've got a pic n fix
we've got a government freezer full of benefits
A children's assortment
we're bigger than Hamley's!
We've got cabbage patch orphans
from Sylvanian families
Carpets, linoleum, holy petroleum!
Chemi-kazi killers, little Hitlers and Napoleons
Ladies and gentlemen
boys and girls
the big shop is open
and the world is wonderful
wonderful!
Armageddon, come and meet your maker
3 steps to heaven on the escalator
Signing the good book, in hard back
and in paperback