Bob And Tom

Spoken:
(Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Dick Mango!)

Grandma got molested at the airport (Thank you! Thank you!)
Flying home to our house Christmas Day
The perpetrator wasn't any pervert
He was an agent with the TSA

Grandma checked it at the airport
She thought everything was fine
Until she went through security
And an agent said "Please step out of the line"

(Thank you!)

Then he put his rubber gloves on
And grandma's heart began to race
When he finished his inspection
You couldn't wipe the smile off grandma's face

(Whoo!)

Grandma got molested at the airport (Everybody!)
Flying home to our house Christmas Day
The perpetrator wasn't any pervert
He was an agent with the TSA

Now grandma's always at the airport
But she ain't flying anywhere
She just wants another pat-down
And this time she ain't wearing underwear

So this Christmas, if you're looking for some action
Maybe a quick romantic rendezvous
Just stop by your nearest airport
And ask the TSA agent if he'll fondle you (Yeah!)

Grandma got molested at the airport
Flying home to our house Christmas Day (Everybody!)
The perpetrator wasn't any pervert
He was an agent with the TSA

Grandma got molested at the airport
Flying home to our house Christmas Day
The perpetrator wasn't any pervert
He was an agent with the TSA

(Thank you! My name is Dick Mango!)